give me a break

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“Give yourself a break, before you breakdown.”

I saw an image on Facebook heeding this advice. I could not find the person who came up with this golden nugget so I’m not sure who deserves the credit. I do know that reading those words caused a profound reaction. It was only recently within the past 2 years that I have realized what it means to truly give myself a break.

When I was a young girl I always wanted to be out doing something. I can remember whining to my mom that I was bored if there wasn’t anyone around to play with. She would tell me to read a book, and I would roll my eyes.

Fast forward to high school when I just had to be out of the house every moment with friends doing something, anything at all. College and my late teens/early twenties were exactly the same. Then I found my job at the furniture store where I worked for 6 days a week, and almost every single weekend/holiday for several years. On my one day off I would be running errands, and cramming everything else I could into the day. I loved it. Until I didn’t.

I didn’t know how to sit still. I couldn’t give myself a break. I am happy to say that I no longer believe in that demand. I no longer believe in burning the candle at both ends. I allow myself to rest, and damn does it feel good!

The beginning was hard, if I’m being honest somedays are still hard. I felt uncomfortable, sometimes I felt lazy. I felt like there were a million other things that I should be doing. That is a small price to pay for sitting still. I revel in the silence, when I am able to turn that inner voice off. The one that tells me I should be washing the dishes right now, or running out to Target to get toilet paper because we’re on the last roll, or spending 7 hours working on my website. You know the deal.

So I’ve learned, and I’m still learning to be comfortable with the break, or I will certainly head towards a breakdown.

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